Lawak-Lawak Muka Buku

pada suatu hari di gerai buah-buahan milik seorg penduduk tempatan telah didatangi oleh makhluk x asing lagi..

Pelancong : Excuse me,what place is this?
... Penjual : Ape? Marcedes?saya x pakai marcedes la..proton wira ade la...
Pelancong : What did u say??
... Penjual : Tuan jgn merepeklah! tuan nk mkn pasir?!!
Pelancong : I don`t understand! what are u saying???!
Penjual : bas stand? tuan nk naik bas? kat cni pon bleh...
Pelancong : What are u talking about?
Penjual : oh..Roundabout ye? mmg bas yg tuan naik tu akn lalu roundabout...kenape tuan takot ehh...hehehe
Pelancong : u must be crazy....!
Penjual : Ape??!! tuan ni mcm2 la!! skang tuan nk anak saye si Rozi plak!! cisss!!!!!..

 

Cikgu : murid2.. Siapa yg nak msk syurga..?
Serentak murid2 menjawb sayaaa..! , AJOI yg duduk di blkng diam saja...
Cikgu : siapa yg nak msk neraka..?
murid2 : tdk mau....!!! AJOI tetap diam sja.
cikgu teros ke balakng dan bercakap ngan AJOI...
... Cikgu : AJOI kamu nak msk syurga atau neraka?
AJoi :dua2 tknak cikgu...
Cikgu : knp..?
Ajoi : hbs waktu ayah sye mninggal, dye berpesan..
AJOI.... Apapun yg terjadi kamu harus masuk TENTERA..
Cikgu : !@#$%^

 

kasim : weh wan, aku nk pnjm laptop ko leh x..,
wan : pakai aa.. nuh ade atas meja
kasim : wan, ape pswod laptop ko neh?,
wan : tak boleh
kasim : cpat la woi..bgtau aa paswod laptop nie..
... ... wan : aku kta tak boleh, tak boleh la..
kasim : kdkot siot ko neh..
wan : eh kasim, ko nk g mn? td kata na pjm laptop??
kasim : dh ko xbg paswod cmne aku na pakai..(jeling)
wan : laa...kan aku da kata...TAK BOLEH.. itula paswordnye. ==

Gigi ouhh gigi ...

i says -- Isnin 21/5/12 gigi aku nak kene anta repair ..

Tolong , aku xmau .. DON`t TOUCH MY TEETH !!
Tolong dokte , tolong .. Jangan di usik gigi saye neyh .. :)
Gigi saye oke . Gigi saye sihat dokte ..
Jangan lahh di usik-2 gigi saye ney .. aeh3 .. heheh :D

cinte hati ku !!

ayat2 bangang ..

Walau lautan api,
aku akan naik bot untuk rentasnye,
ye la, takkan gile nak berenang kan.
Walau setinggi gunung,
aku sewa helikopter ,
ye la, nak daki mane larat.
Walau duit antaran rm100000,
aku akan tetap tikam nombor,
nak kerja, malas ahhh.
Walau mak pak ko tak bagi,
aku tetap nak jugak,
akan ku langgar diorang dengan kapcai abang aku.
Walau ade prempuan lain,
takkan ku curang,
melainkan die lagi cantek.

cerite facebook ( muka buku )

Kisah benar: Akibat dedah AURAT di facebook... ....
kisah ini mengenai seorang hamba Allah. Beliau
merupakan seorang wanita yang aktif berfacebook.. .
dalam facebook nya mempunyai banyak koleksi
gambar yg tidak menutup aurat...
selepas beliau meninggal dunia, ibunya sentiasa
bermimpi beliau merayu kepada ibunya supaya
delete gambar2nya yg tidak menutup auratnya di
facebook... malangnya tiada siapa... yang mengetahui
password facebooknya. ..
jadi, kemungkinan besar, rohnya tidak tenang
dengan dosa auratnya yang dibiar begitu saja
menjadi tatapan umum....
dan ingatlah, azab untuk kita yg sengaja membiarkan
aurat kita dilihat oleh lelaki bukan mahram ialah API
NERAKA!
*Cerita ini menjadi iktibar dan pengajaran buat kita,

Love Story Lyrics – Taylor Swift

We were both young, when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts-
I’m standing there, on a balcony in summer air.
I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd-
You say hello, little did I know…

That you were Romeo, youthrowing pebbles-
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”-
And I was crying on the staircase-
begging you please don’t go…
And I said…
Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting; all there’s left to do is run.
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess,
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes.
So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, because we’re dead if they knew-
So close your eyes… escape this town for a little while.
Oh, Oh.
Cause you were Romeo – I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet” -
but you were everything to me-
I was begging you, please don’t go-
And I said…
Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting; all there’s left to do is run.
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess.
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes-
Romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it’s real.
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess.
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes.
Oh, Oh.
I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading-
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said…
Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think-
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said…
Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that’s all I really know.
I talked to your dad — go pick out a white dress
It’s a love story, baby just say… yes.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.
We were both young when I first saw you.
 were

gile-2 punye ..

bile kite di lamun cinte , tido x basah , mandi x lene , tapi makan ingat pulak . haha .. 2 lah namenye cinte monyet .. cinte budak-2 lah kate kan .. cinte budak-2 ney lah ssah , ade je yg nak rampas pakwe kite law kite dapat pakwe ensem .. tp insyaallah , pakwe kite hanye setie at kite sorang jee ... kite sayang pakwe kite .. urmuwahh !! pakwe kite laen dari yang laen , die rjin , walawpon skola sampai tingkata 5 je , walawpon nampak macam garang , tapi sebenarnye , die baek .. hehe ,, terlebih sudah ,...